Saturday, May 28, 2011

traveling . . .

We left Bozeman about 7 this morning. Drove 200 miles northwest to Missoula and picked up Mom and her sister, my aunt. She never really seemed like an "aunt" as she is only a few years older than I am. Her mom was my Grandpa's second wife after my Grandma died. I didn't know my Grandma, she died long before I was born.

But anyway, we left Missoula and drove 200 miles west to Great Falls and on to Fort Benton. I took some flowers to put on my dad's grave. I had not been there since he was buried there over a year ago. I have missed him every day, but I was so thankful he not longer had to suffer the horrible pain and treatment in the nursing home. He deserved better, but he would not leave Missoula as he would not leave Mom and she would not leave Missoula. She could not live with him. He kept thinking he was "going home".

I think he is home now. I have not been able to stop crying since I saw his gravestone this afternoon. I loved him so much and I miss him.

It was a dark and rainy day. I am glad - I did not want sunshine today. Tonight we are in Great Falls - 40 miles from Fort Benton. Tomorrow we head back to Missoula, then Helena and then home. I wish I could go back to the cemetary alone and just lay on his grave and cry in the wind and rain. I don't want sunshine tomorrow either.


Janna and Mike said...

My heart goes out to you Carol.

Carol said...

Thank you, Janna.