Bob and I went to Missoula today. Mom called last evening and said that Dad was much worse and not expected to live so we hit the road early. It is 210 miles each way to Missoula from here. When we got there, we found that he was about the same as he has been, but the doctors finally decided that they should discontinue the cancer treatment for prostate cancer (he is almost 91) And they placed him in a hospice type program that the nursing home there uses rather than Hospice. That was very upsetting to Mom (she is almost 90) and she saw that as the end.
I suspect Dad will probably die within the next 6 months, but I don't believe it will be today. The nursing home and his doctor keep him pretty drugged up so they can "manage" his behavior. He doesn't like being there - who would? But, he will not leave Mom in Missoula and they will not move here - we tried that 4 years ago. They stayed for 6 months - hated every hour and let me know about it daily and then moved back on their own. One thing for sure - they are tough and independent. God bless them both.
I will go over for a couple days next week and each week thereafter. It might help Mom - she gets a bit confused from being so weary and she still insists on driving so I can help with that. Although, she really doesn't want anyone intervening in her life. She could have selected a senior apartment within walking distance of Dad, but it wasn't "fancy" enough. Did I say they are tough and independent? So she has to drive through the worst traffic in Missoula for several miles to get from her apartment to his nursing home. She could ask for transportation from where she lives or from her sister (much younger) or call a taxi (they can afford that), but she prefers to drive. She goes about every other day. Did I say they were tough and independent?
I loved seeing them both and enjoying Dad's sense of humor even though his speech is slurred from the drugs. I will probably be just like them. I just hope to live so long. Tough, independent, stubborn, long-living, land-loving Montanans - not bad at all.