First - I don't want you to think I am whining here - just stating what seems to me to be an obvious fact.
I have had my quilting machine for almost 4 years. I did take a whole year off from quilting so I will take that into consideration, but I am getting worse and worse. Oh, technically, I am better. But the design choices and thread choices I am making are awful! Here are three of the last quilts I finished. I think it is the pressure of putting someone else's quilt on the machine. As soon as that happens, I stress, make weird decisions and the results are not good.
Before I went off to joust with college students last year in Laramie, I had decided to not take in any more customer quilts - just do my own. But then I wanted to get my IQ so I thought I would try again. It is not any better this time around. I do not like working on other people's quilts! It is plain and simple. I am just not that good at quilting other people's quilts. I am not equipped to do it! And I am not unhappy that I have realized this - I am quite relieved.
So - unless people want an all over or E2E that Hoke can do (IQ), I am not taking in any more after I finish my existing lineup. I love having Hoke (he drives my Miss Daisy, A1). I thought it was confidence, but I have been at this long enough that I should have built up enough confidence. It feels like as soon as I have someone elses quilt on the machine, I become a different person - all whacked out with worry and my artistic decisions fall in the dump. And the worst part is I actually go ahead and quilt those whacked out decisions.
Whatever it is - life is too short!. I am going to do my own stuff from here on! Life is just too short, especially when I am already in my third act. I can't waste anymore time worrying about being a "quilting for hire" failure. I am over it! I will go find a job as a greeter at WalMart and work on my own quilts.
Hope you have a good day. I know I feel much better!