Life gets interesting . . .

Activate . . . 

This is a piece I completed a couple months ago.  It is painted on cotton with organza overlays and then quilted.  The story of the creation is beautiful to me and I will share that next week.  But it really captures where I am tonight.  It is time for me to "Activate".  

Intense Times . . . 

I want to share this piece of my work as it is titled "Intense". I created this the end of 2018 as a reflection of the intense feelings of life we were experiencing from the impact of a grand son's cancer - my mom's death - extreme drought and fires -  difficult life choices - difficult times in our country . . . 

From February 2020 until now, we have all experienced the impact of the pandemic and related extreme hatred, fear and divisiveness.  

From September 2020 until now, we have experienced even more "Intense" times from my own cancer fight!  

I am a believer that if you live a long life, as I have, you must go through lots of "Intense" times.  

My cancer update . . . 

I wanted to share where I am in my breast cancer treatment with my family and friends. I have not written in my blog since last May. This is a summary of the year and where I am now . . . 

I started my treatment for breast cancer in November 2020 after the diagnosis the month before. I had heavy chemotherapy infusions every three weeks consisting of 4 different chemical drugs through March of 2021. Two of the most fierce of the chemo drugs ended in March and my treatment plan was to continue with the other two drugs through infusions every three weeks through October.  

In April, after surgery, the pathology showed that I was free of all the cancer in my breast and the two involved lymph nodes. It was "highly recommended" that I continue with the chemo infusions and move forward with radiation once my surgery had healed. That combination was to add additional "insurance" for remaining cancer free. I decided to do both. The 33 days of radiation ended the first part of July and I continued with the infusions through October.  .  

I continued to have CT and MRI scans as well as echo cardiograms throughout the year as recommended with continued positive findings. Yesterday, I had a diagnostic mammogram recommended following the end of treatment and 6 months after the surgery. It showed no sign of cancer. I continue to be cancer free and my recommended treatment plan from over a year ago is complete.  

I am blessed and looking forward to continued healing, regaining my strength and my brain working better. I know I will need to focus my energy to continue to eat the right foods, stay at a healthy weight and become more physically active.  Those are the next steps of my "staying cancer free" treatment.  

What is next . . . 

I was a member of our local Artists Gallery but I left the end of August as the continued chemo was impacting my strength and our Covid numbers were so high again that I was not comfortable working in the public. The gallery is a cooperative where the members work shifts each month. I will not go back to the gallery as I want all of my time to focus on my life with my Bob, my family, my friends and my art.  

I look forward to becoming more prolific with my creating. I have lots of ideas and dreams and I am feeling I am "on fire" with so many things I want to do. 

I will be activating this blog on a weekly basis with it focused on my renewed energy and focused on my art. I have lots of ideas for creating new art.  I want to share more with other like minded mixed media artists. I will share more on all of that throughout the next months.  

Thank you so much for your love, your positive thoughts and for being with me on this journey.  

The changes continue . . .

Getting better with each day. . . 

Good news today.  I have decided to return as an "active artist" to our Artists Gallery in the Emerson Art Center here in Bozeman.  I want, and need, the motivation that this decision brings to move forward.  I will start in June and I am so excited about it.  

It is a co-op gallery so we all work together on it.  We move our exhibits around each month and work three half day shifts in the gallery each month.  I am looking forward to participating again and I know it is the right time for me.  They have assured me if I need to have someone take my work shift that is totally possible, but I feel confident I can do it.  The triptych that is hanging on the right was sold to a large, new, upscale local hotel that opened here last fall.  I was thrilled.  

I am the only "fiber artist" in the gallery.  The scarves hanging actually are done by one of the artists who paints landscapes.  But we have 3D and 2D artists and a new jewelry artist.  We also have an area for cards and an area in the hall that is secure and a hanging area for prints.  

Update on my cancer journey . . . 

Today I had the simulation done for radiation and it wasn't as bad as I thought it might be.  I actually start radiation next Monday and go through June.  It will be every day at 11 am for about 15 minutes with 5 or 6 of those minutes actually having the radiation.  Even though my pathology after surgery showed complete remission, it is still recommended that I go through the radiation at this time.  So I am going to do everything I can to stay cancer free.  I will also continue with the immunotherapy infusions every three weeks through October and that is also recommended for my type of breast cancer.  And that is enough about that! Now I am going to get back to my work and my life. 

Change Continues . . .

Connecting Again . . .

I wanted to share this today. It is "Firewalk". I completed it 5 years ago when my grandson, who was 6 at the time, was beginning months of chemo to win his fight over brain cancer. He was officially announced "cancer free" last summer after 5 years. He is now 11.

His journey has been an inspiration to me every day of those 5 years. But his words, wisdom and actions have been even more important to me in the past seven months as I have fought my own fight with breast cancer.  

I finished my "big chemo” in March. That consisted of an infused combination of chemo drugs, immunotherapy drugs, and 4 other drugs every three weeks to kill the cancer and not kill me while it was doing that. I have been plagued with debilitating anemia and have had several ER trips for some good old red blood cell transfusions. My brain, energy, and light seemed to be on permanent vacation from by body. And then, a week ago, I had my surgery - lumpectomy on the left breast and the removal of some lymph nodes. The good news is the pathology came back, the drug mixture had done the job and the cancer was gone everywhere.  So with that good news, I was encouraged by my doctors to continue with the original, best possible outcome, treatment plan for extra assurance that it will not return. I will have radiation that starts the middle of May and will continue with the immunotherapy drugs only - given through infusion. This will not be nearly as debilitating as the chemo and I am already beginning to feel my brain, energy and light returning to my body from wherever it has been.  I am so thankful and so appreciative of the prayers and positive energy you have sent my way.  

I am feeling "much, much better".  Bob says he can tell.  The "spit and vinegar" have returned and it makes us both smile and be thankful!

And Now - Next Steps  . . . 

I am not sure where this will all go as it relates to my continued blogging.  I want to continue from a place of joy.  One thing I am certain of though, I want to focus on my family, my friends and my art.  I want to enjoy being a maker and spend little time on the next steps of the cancer treatment journey. 

I am blessed in so many ways.  Thank you!

Change of Plans Here

I wanted to keep a regular conversation about my journey with this breast cancer.  As the months have gone on, it has gotten harder and harder.  Now, I am feeling a very distinct need to be more private.  At this time, I am not planning to do more entries about this journey.   

I continue to do pretty good and am preparing for the coming surgery, radiation and immunotherapy as set forth in in the original treatment plan.  

Please feel comfortable contacting me directly at any time. 

Thank you to those who have read along to this point.  

I am here - but not much more than that . . .

My great plans for how to write through this journey have fallen by the wayside.  Here it is the first week of March and I have not updated for several weeks.  This chemo stuff is certainly "cumulative".  Of course you hear that - read that - know that - but living with that is quite different.

I completed the last session of the "big chemo" this past Monday.  I am now going to continue with the immunotherapy infusions every three weeks for the next 8 months.  But the ongoing side effects from the two chemo drugs I have completed will not continue with me.  That is good news.  

I meet with my surgeon next week to determine surgery and then after recovery from that it will be on to radiation.  I am planning to have these invasive treatments completed by the end of May or as close to that as possible.  

I had a couple transfusions to help with the anemia and I will probably get another one in a week or so.  That does some help.  It is quite a journey.  I think I would have rather read about it than experienced it for sure.  But, it is what it is.  

I have the help of wonderful friends and family and that is a blessing.  The weather is getting warmer here and there and that brings great joy of renewal.  So it is onward.

Maybe more info with the making, loved ones and treatment stuff next week.  For now, this will have to do.  

Checking In . . .

 I am just posting a quick update.  I had chemo again on Monday and am in the downhill slide of chemo effects for a few days.  I will be back next week with more "making",  "loved ones" and "fight information".  

Love to you all.

A different kind of week . . .

Quick update today on the cancer fight journey . . . 

1. The maker . . . 

I haven't done much to create anything new.  Well - yesterday I made some gluten free cornbread and muffin tops. We ate some and we froze some.  

2. The love . . . 

My Bob continues to amaze me with his support and taking care of everything while I am kind of off in the hinterlands with the ups and downs of the chemo.  Just to be sure to include a picture, here is a picture I came across of my mom's mom - Hannah.  She was is the one in the middle and she passed away before I was born so I never knew her.  She grew up in North Dakota where she was one of a family of 12 children.  Her parents came to this country from Denmark.  I can see a lot of family resemblance.  

3. The fight . . .

I continued to be really tired when I went in to the Cancer Center on Monday for blood drawing to make sure my "numbers" were ok for chemo on Tuesday.  I needed a transfusion and that was done in the ER.  We got home about 11 pm Monday night. Chemo was changed to today so we headed that way early this morning.  My heart rate was still higher than they wanted so no chemo today and I am rescheduled for chemo on Monday.  I will have my echo cardiogram tomorrow to see how things are going in that area.  It is just onward.  

This is a day of hope!

For there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it.
If only we’re brave enough to be it.     Amanda Gorman

1. The maker . . . 

I have continued with a 100 Day Creative group so I am doing a little stitching when I can.  If I am busy, I just skip it that day but I am enjoying the process knowing I have flexibility depending on how things are going.  

This is a great book for me.  It shows how to do lots of different stitches and I have lots to learn. 

I did get the hand stitching completed on this triptych.  I will now, at some time, finish the edges and mount it on a canvas.  I hope to be able to rejoin the Artists Gallery this spring or summer and I want to have more small pieces ready for display.  This will finish at about 9 x 12.  

I wanted to start a larger project inspired by the book above so I did some practice on a smaller piece.  This may bloom into something of its own or it may remain just a place to practice.  

And then I started with this piece.  It is a piece of sun printing that I did last summer and I will enjoy lots of experimenting with it as I move forward.  

2. The love . . . 

I continue to rely so much on the love of my Bob.  I am so thankful he is my partner.  

3. The fight . . .

With each infusion, I find new levels of tiredness and nausea.  I have the tools to manage it and I just keep trying to move forward.  I have different reactions each time.  Just when I think I know what to expect, it changes.  But, that is the reason, every hour of every day, that I am so thankful to have my Bob.

Keep on moving forward . . .

 But - it is getting harder with each infusion!  I am glad I am tough!

1. The maker . . . 

This week I started again to do a little hand stitching with an online group that goes for "100 Days".  I have done this a couple times and I rarely get something posted each day and I know this won't be any different, but it keeps me focused.  I am wanting to make some small pieces.  This will be a triptych.  It will be about 10"x 5" when complete I think.  I did a little stitching on the middle one the first day.  Then I filled out the stitching on that one the second day.  So you can see I am moving slowly.  

2. The love . . . 

I have been working on some short stories  as part of a Christmas gift that will be put together.  Each week I get a question to start a short memory story of my childhood and then they are all put together in a book form.  I can include pictures.  It has been hard for me to do.  But, I am getting some movement going and I know I will enjoy the process and well as the product.  Here is a picture of me when I was young with my mom.  We lived on a farm in the central part o Montana.  She was always so tiny and it amazed me that even when I was little, I was probably bigger than her.  

3. The fight . . .

Well, it continues.  What more is there to say?  I am more tired, but also tolerating it pretty well considering everything.  So I just keep on going forward.  

I can get the Covid vaccine if I am comfortable doing it.  I will get to feeling better in a couple days since my last infusion was on Tuesday and then go get it.  My doctors are pretty clear that I would not survive Covid so I don't see much choice.  They are not sure how the chemo impacts the vaccine, so I would continue to stay very isolated.  Bob will get his as soon as possible.  

Our new governor has opened up the state without restrictions and the vaccines are scarce so it is kind of a scary time. 

What a week!

Without going into what everyone already knows has happened, I will just do a quick update.  It has been a week . . . 

1. The maker . . . 

Not much made here this week.  I have even had trouble picking up my crochet hook.  But, I did make some "muffin tops" with almond flour and they are sure good.  They are gluten free, dairy free and sugar free.  I am back on eating what I know I should.

2. The love . . .  

This past week has been just Bob and I - visiting, talking, and sometimes  -  even - ignoring each other.  But we are still here.  

3. The fight . . .

This last chemo that I had right before Christmas has been more debilitating.  I know it is cumulative in effects and I have felt it.  That is one reason I need to be more careful about what I eat.  If I stay on what my bowels can digest, I do feel a bit better.  

I have chemo again this coming Tuesday and I now know I need to be better prepared to rest more, eat more in line with what my body handles better and try to find good things in every day.  

Happy New Year - 2021

“Sometimes we can only find our true direction when we let the wind of change carry us.”  Mimi Novic

1. The maker . . . 

I woke up hungry today - it was day 11 from infusion so I am beginning to understand the cumulative impact of this journey.  We usually eat cereal - hot or cold - with berries but I wanted eggs and toast and potatoes so I decided I felt good enough to cook.  Bob was right there to help because I knew my "wants" are sometimes more than my "cans".   So together we made our favorite "egg scramble with toast"  and we added a mandarin orange.  It tasted good, but I could not eat it all.  

2. The love . . . 

And Bob, my love, was right there to help and clean up.  I am blessed for sure.   

Yesterday we spent our afternoon making phone changes.  Our cell service reception out here where we live has gotten really bad in the past couple months.  It is something Verizon is doing with the addition of 5G capabilities, or something, to their current towers.  They sent us a signal extender and that worked great for me with my iPhone 8,  but Bob's phone was too old to use it so he needed a new phone.  I wanted a new phone and he didn't care so I got the new phone, an iPhone 12 and he took over my phone.  AND, we worked together to make the changes of transferring data and records, and changing SIM cards from his old one to the iPhone 8.  We feel pretty darn capable!  Or else we just don't have much else to do in this isolated life.  

Love the new camera in it!  Now to get better photographing my art!  So I have a lot to learn!

3. The fight . . .

As I said earlier, it is Day 11 from infusion.  The last two times previous, I was better by Day 9 so I am starting to understand "cumulative".  I am way more tired.  Eating was hard for the 10 days.  And for those who know me, know I have rarely missed a meal or met food I didn't like.  Nothing sounded good or tasted good. And I have quite an army of "anti-nausea" remedies at my beck and call. It was a nice feeling to wake up this morning and actually feel like I was "wanting" something for breakfast. I now have about 12 days to feel pretty darn decent and to get some work done.  I am excited about that!  We are going for a ride today - I am going to drive.  I have not felt like driving for 11 days so that is also a good feeling.  It is all good!

Happy New Year!