I'm Back . . .

It has been two months since I stopped.

Walker has done well with his cancer treatment.  He finished his 31 radiation treatments last week and he and his parents came home to Bozeman last Thursday.  They were at Children's Hospital until October 1 and then moved over to the nearby Ronald McDonald house where they stayed during the radiation treatments.

Weston had been here with us since the first of September and their mom and dad had been back and forth between here and Denver. Over the weekend they moved into a rental condo for the coming year while they focus on Walker's treatments and recovery. They had planned to live out here while we traveled, but that all changed with this new normal.

Walker has done lots of recovery work from the Posterior Fassa Syndrome that came after the tumor surgery the end of August.  He was unable to move any limbs or his body, walk, see clearly, control his bowels or bladder and for a couple weeks didn't talk.  He is talking fine, no longer needing diapers, has no double vision and he is walking pretty good.  He still has a wheel chair and a walker that he can use, but prefers to walk with some assistance from furniture and a willing hand.  It is kind of hard to watch because it is pretty wabbly walking, but he gets stronger every day.

We had both guys with us Thursday, Friday and Saturday while they moved.  It was so good to have Walker here again.  He really wanted to revisit each and every good memory he had with us - special shopping trips and things we had all done together.  We enjoyed it all.  And the move was complete enough that last night they stayed in their "new" house.

So, Bob and I are "home alone" this morning for the first time in two and a half months.  And it is not too bad.  Especially since we know Walker is doing ok and their family is back together.  We both agree we are really going to miss Weston living here.  Raising a child is hard work and best if one is young, but still a joy no matter how old.  LOL.  The road ahead for all of them is going to be rough, but I am sure they can do it and we are here to help if needed.

We are still thinking of going south - or somewhere - in the motorhome for a couple months after the first of the year, but for now we are just going to enjoy our lives here and help where needed.

Walker will start his 9 chemo sessions on the 10th of December.  They will go each month or 6 weeks to Denver for those treatments.

So, I am going to focus myself back on my fiber art world really hard and put away the need to be a "mother".  I loved having Weston here, but I know why God intends for them to be raised by the young.

Taking time . . .

I am just not up for blogging now.  I am trying to do updates on CaringBridge for Walker each day.   I will be back later.  Nothing seems important enough to say right now.

Hard to hear . . .

We found out this afternoon that our 6 year old grandson, Walker, has cancer.  The brain tumor was malignant.  He will go through several weeks of radiation at Children's Hospital in Denver as an inpatient.  Following that will be 10 months of chemo.  If all goes well, they say there is a 90% rate of recovery - whatever that means - maybe remission.  I don't know.

Nothing makes any sense to me right now.  I love that little boy so much and I hate to see him go through what he will have to endure for the next year.

Here he is from our first camping trip to the lake in June this summer.  I am so glad we had these good times with him.  He is a fighter so I hope he knows we will be here to help him fight this cancer.

Feeling all messed up inside . . .

It feels I have been strong for so long now and today I just don't want to be strong any longer.  I want Walker to be ok.  I hate it when a little guy has to go through this posterior fossa syndrome stuff and we don't even know yet the type of tumor so the bad stuff could be yet to come.  I want to scream and scream but I know that won't do any good.  And I hate being here while he is down there.  I feel like I am totally out of the loop and it is even worse today.  I know I need to get through this since this is not about me.  But, damn it, I hate this.  I need to figure out something.

So today the delivery men from Lowes called to tell us they were delivering the new refrigerator we purchased there two weeks ago.  What?  I had forgotton all about it.  It was 7:30 when the call came and they said they would be there in 20 minutes.   I hadn't forgotten I had purchased it as our old one was kind of limping along.  But I had forgotten this was the day for the delivery.  

I was in bed so I jumped up and started emptying out the old refrigerator and got it done.  The guys came, took out the old one, brought in the new one, shoved it in the hole and informed us the cupboards were not right so it would set even.  They then left and said to just wait a while and it might settle in better.

What?  When they left we looked and they had not even brought down the front legs - and they had it sitting crooked.  On one corner nothing was touching the floor.  I am not sure how they managed that but it was certainly what was making it crooked.   So I had to call and get them to return.  First I was informed they would try to get back out at the end of their day if there was time.  No that was not going to work for me.  They needed to do their job correctly the first time as I needed to reload the food.  Finally after a couple more calls up the Lowes food chain, I got them to return about an hour and a half later and they were not happy.  Needless to say, neither was I.

They came in the kitchen and mouthy about what needed to be done.  First they said the cupboards were not correct - wrong!  They were installed by one of the best companies here in Bozeman 3 years ago and the previous fridge was the same size and it fit - snuggly - but it fit.  They finally pulled it out again and did do it right after some very stern words from me.  I had to tell one of them who was really mouthy and rude that he needed to stop or else I would ask him to leave my home.  Not a good experience at all.  Once it was done correctly, the refrigerator is nice and I know we will enjoy it.  It fits the space, is level, and looks good.

It is time to fight . . .

I am over my weeping about what has happened to Walker.  Of course I wish it hadn't happened.  Of course I would rather it be me.  But it did happen and it isn't me.  It is this very precious 6 year old grandson.  So it is time to get going with support, prayers, work and all the rest that has to be done.

Here is a link with more info about what is causing his slow progress following his brain surgery.  http://www.childhoodbraintumor.org/medical-information/late-effects/item/100-cerebellar-mutism
This cerebellar mutism is part the greater Posterior Fassa Syndrome.  This impacts some children who have this kind of tumor removal surgery.  It is going to make his recovery slower, but he will recover with good physical, speech and occupational therapy.  More will be known in a few days about the tumor itself and what that means for ongoing treatment concerning radiation and chemo. The road will be long and treacherous.  There is no time or place for me to feel so down.

Here is a picture of him being read to today by his Denver grandma, lovingly known as Vma.

My heart is aching . . .

Last Thursday, we got a call that our little 6 year old grandson, Walker, was not well.  They did a scan here and saw a brain tumor.  He was flighted that night to Children's Hospital in Denver with his mom.  His dad, brother, Bob and I flew down early the next morning commercial.  At the hospital they were able to stop the brain swelling with steroids, study an MRI and he had surgery on Monday, August 31.   They do not know yet if the tumor, which was quite large, was malignant or benign.  They will know that the first of next week as well as the plan for treatment.

Today is Thursday - a week from that day.  Walker is not progressing as well following the surgery as the surgeon had hoped.  Please think of him and send strength to him and his family.

Bob and I came home with Weston, his brother, late last night.  We will get Weston into school tomorrow.  It is kind of like a nightmare that just keeps going on and on.

I know there is a long road ahead and I know the road will have good days and bad days.  But I just pray that Walker can get well and enjoy years of good life.

I will write more later.

Oh, No!

We woke to water on the floor on Saturday.  Got it all mopped up and realized it was from a leaking tubing into the ice maker on the refrigerator.  The necessary part, new water valve, is no longer available for our fridge which has been with us for 17 very temperamental years.   What to do?  What to do?

We don't want to leave our son and his family without an ice maker or a reliable refrigerator.   So I headed out today to buy a new refrigerator.  

Comfy shoes - check.  Payment in pocket - check.  Idea of what I wanted - check.

I want to the "French doors" on the front with the bottom freezer door.  That seems easy enough and there are lots of those.  It has to be black and that eliminates 90% of stock.    I wanted no ice or water in the door which seemed to eliminate another 8.9% of what might work.

Nothing is easy.  Our small town as about 40,000 people on a good day and is home to Montana State University which is just now back in session.  So that adds another 15,000 and I think they were all looking for appliances.

This is what I found that would work.

It is in stock at our local Lowes.  But it can't be delivered until September 5th.  Now to try and round up some strong young backs (bucks?) to get the delivery done sooner.  With those 15,000 college students in town, someone should want to earn a little cash, don't you think?

Hoping for the best here.